In And Out

Last night I heard a car alarm blaring which reminded me of this funny story of how I had a "Clark Griswold" moment while in Las Vegas on vacation...

Picture this. Las Vegas, NV. Cloudless, baby blue skies. The In 'n' Out Burger location off the "Strip". In the Seattle area, there are none of these so it's a special treat that I enjoy very rarely during the year. So the crew and I are posted up, with our burgers, outside. 

For some reason, a car alarm on a Dodge Charger is set off. Assuming it'll reset itself, we wait a couple of minutes which seems like eternity when the blaring of an alarm system is nearby. Those few minutes pass with pain. This is not acceptable to me! I'm on vacation! My oh-so-coveted, animal style In 'n' Out Burger devouring is being crunked up by this silly damn alarm. That's it! I calmly place my burger into the red-and-white checkered paper lined plastic tray. Dear burger, I'll be back in one moment. Hold, please...

I walk into the restaurant. I stand in the middle of the lobby to see if I can actually hear the f-ing alarm. I can't. It's so loud in there, I can't even hear the convo that's next to me. I look out the window to see that turn signals of the said car flashing so the alarm is still going off. Jeezus...

I survey the restaurant. Here we go! "EXCUSE ME EVERYONE! GOOD AFTERNOON!" The restaurant becomes silent as a morgue. I can only imagine the manager shit a kitten as he thinks I'm trying to hold up the place. The patrons are wondering what the hell this fool is doing. Knowing I have a short amount of time, I continue. "Thank you for your attention this'll be brief. Will the owner of the grey Dodge Charger that's parked right there [I point at it], please turn off your alarm? It is going off and disturbing the folks outside."

Several peer outside to verify what I'm talking about with my announcement and request. Lo and behold the booth that's less than 5 feet from me is occupied by a nuclear family that seemed to have come from baseball practice [Mom, Dad, daughter and son]

Daughter looks up and pipes up, "DAD! That's our car. I can turn it off for you."

The restaurant patrons join me as we glare at him, dear old Dad. "Please sir, turn off your alarm." 

He replies, "My car doesn't have an alarm."

"Well, whatever device that's making a ton of noise is going off. Please turn that off."

From his booth position, he rises a bit, points what appears to be not-a-car-alarm remote device and silences it with a chirp. 

I smile, and thank him. "Please enjoy the rest of your afternoon and food!" I stride towards the door. I took two steps and a lady steps in front of me. 

"Thank you for doing that! I was trying to find a manager to do the same." I smiled again, and said you're welcome. Thinking... lady, there's no f-ing way that manager, who's busier than a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest, was gonna address your issue.

Take a few more steps. A man steps in front of my path with his right hand outstretched. Thank you, sir. I appreciate you saying something when no one else would. I shake his hand, tell him you're welcome, too. Thinking... jeezus man, I WOHNT MY BURGER!! ["want" with an accent]

I casually walk back to my table. I sit down, replace my napkin in my lap. I look at the table. The boys continue to eat happily. The girls' mouths are agape. They simply can't believe I did that. I fire off an indignant, "What? There was a problem. I fixed it. I want to enjoy my burger in relative peace. Eat your food."

I laugh as I demolish my burger and fries.

[later] As we pull away from the parking lot, I hear the "not-alarm" get set off again. At least we were in and out before the second incident.