C Note(s)

Happy Single Awareness, y'all!! Er, sorry, it's the epitome of a Hallmark Holiday: Valentine's Day. I'm acutely aware that it's a week after my birthday. For being a hapless romantic, you'd think I'd be all over this, but I'm over it the moment it's mentioned. I've pinpointed the experience that soured me from Cupid's arrow. Hallmark Holiday: Valentine's Day My 2nd grade teacher sent home a letter addressed to my parents with the guidelines on the do's and don't's of valentines delivery. What they didn't anticipate was the collateral damage done to my fragile feelings after delivery. And since we were a lower-middle class family, spending money on cardboard that was gonna be discarded almost immediately seemed like a waste. My Mom and I dragged along my little sister to the local Fred Meyer store (yes, the same one that has starred in a few posts of mine) We read over the instructions carefully. If you were gonna p...

We're nearing ever so close to the Hallmark Holiday of Valentine's Day. I'm sure y'all are thinking I don't have a girlfriend with a statement like that. As a matter of fact, I do have a girlfriend! And no, she doesn't want me to cave by buying gifts, flowers, or chocolate. It's strange and comforting at the same time. I've stated this several times that I don't need a day, a world renown day, to declare my love for my partner. If you know anything about me, then you know this is true. I understand that young couples, and new couples, feel compelled to participate in this holiday. American society almost demands it. And by American society, I mean to say, American corporations that make a large sum of money on account of this holiday. At the very least, you've gotta a send a greeting card of paper or emailed to your beloved. Hallmark and the other greeting card companies practically bank on this. Hence why I joked it's a Hallmark Ho...

Recently, I've been texting and talking with a girl I already know is moving out of state. I consider it a labor of love - the long shot. To protect her name, I'll refer her to as #Nashville (based on the TV show that was canceled by NBC, yet picked up by CMT, the fact she looks like Hayden Panettiere, and the situation is completed unscripted. Not to mention she is by far and large, the hottest girl I've talked to) So when I'm asked about my motivation of even participating in such a long shot , I answer with an Alfred Lord Tennyson quote turned into a question. "Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?" I sit back to listen to all the answers from my friends and family, especially when we're posted up around a table at the local watering hole or the roof deck at the Sideline Bar & Grill (long considered the HQ for the #BrewCrew) I placed their answers into three categories in order to process and appreciate ea...

Several years ago, I was given unexpected bad news by my then-wife. She was cheating on me so she wanted a divorce. "Love" had punched a hole in my chest, ripped out my heart out, and with it still beating in its' grasp, broke my heart in my face. As I fell to my knees, I outstretched my arms to stop myself but the ground gave in below me. I tumbled into the abyss of depression, thus touching off the cycle of grief. The grieving the death of my relationship.  You see, I don't share this many, but as an adolescent I struggled and battled with depression. It wasn't diagnosed but 20 years later I'm confident it was. In fact, I believe it's why I love to entertain and make others laugh and feel good. I know what it's like to feel otherwise. I digress. Without a relationship, and a new perceived away of "Love", I had time to be alone with my thoughts. If you know me, and still reading this, this situation can be dangerous.  First item fo...