C Note(s)

Merry Christmas: My Fondest Memory of Mom! December 2017 will be the 20th year that my Mom passed away of gastric cancer. I decided to that the best way to say Merry Christmas was with my fondest memory of Mom. That ended up being more difficult than I thought. Even after chatting up my little sister about her favorite / fondest / funniest memory about Mom, she asked, which one, Los? We have tons. I settled on the category of emergency situations and response plus Mom. Merry Christmas: My Fondest Memory of Mom If there ever was a crisis, she is the last person you wanted to be on scene or supporting you. I'm confident that her easily rattled psyche, and her queasiness at the sight of blood are the main reasons that she wasn't a nurse even though 80% of Filipinas end up as nurses. Ahem! I digress . Merry Christmas: My Fondest Memory of Mom - was an innocuous afternoon during school break. She asked me to find the week's newspaper for the coupons. I had already bundl...

The following is the next installment of a series honoring 20th time for not having my Mom around for Mother's Day 2017. 
 Part II: The Middle The US military did eventually station my Dad in Long Beach. Mom's citizenship was granted with the marriage. However, my Dad made a promise to return Mom back to the Philippines within 5 years to visit as condition of having the blessing of the union. The 70's was still a tumultuous time for the amount of civil unrest throughout the United States. Can you imagine uprooting your entire existence, move to another country, that you barely speak the language, but look relatively like a person that the US Military is embroiled in a foreign, controversial conflict with? You either must be crazy or brave. So thank you, brave mom! I wouldn't exist without your bravery against the harshest circumstances.  Eventually, and luckily, Dad and Mom moved up north to Washington State in the Green Lake area. Then my mom was soon pregn...

I had to rub and adjust my eyes once I realized this is the 20th Mother's Day without my mother, Carina M Bayne . Regardless, I still wish y'all a Happy Mother's Day 2017! What can I write about my mother that I loved dearly, that I haven't written already? The answer is simple: plenty. Despite my experience with my own mother, and with other mothers, I still don't quite understand the depth of selflessness and ready sacrifice that they have for their children. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that love. It's just I don't think without being a mother myself (considering I'm a guy's guy that's not gonna ever happen) I'll fathom the depths of this. Of course, everyone of y'all is gonna post that their mother was the greatest. And frankly, you should! You should honor the person that gave you life on this spinning ball of water and dirt. In her eyes, you are her greatest accomplishment / accomplishments (if more than one child) ...

Hey Mom, The other day I was wondering if you've skied up, and left guardianship of me to someone or something else. I've seen a sign from you since last year, even though I've been asking and prayer for assistance down here. I chalked it up to your Yoda-esque, you'll-get-help-when-you-really-need it teachings. You know, I've never understood it, or liked it. On Sunday, I was musing over my current situation of trying to cope, trying to buy a house, and left wondering if I barreling down the right life path. There I was driving along Maltby Rd (Hwy 527), tunes cranked up, as I zipped along the windy road. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a bald eagle perched in a tree about 40 feet up and 500 feet away. It's eyes landed on mine, then swooped down to road level, and in the right hand lane - my lane. So majestic. So ginormous! The wingspan was ridiculous. There it was guiding me down the road I've been down hundreds of times. For a moment, ...

Merry Christmas, Mom, Last year I wrote a similar letter which I copied for the purposes of updating it (blog entry Open Letter To Mom - Christmas, My Only Wish. It's taken me a better part of a decade and a half to figure out why you loved the Christmastime so much when you were with us. Speaking of ‘with us’, can you believe that it’s been 18 years since your soul has been upgraded to another plane of existence?  For the years that followed, I upheld all the Bayne Christmas traditions. I started playing music on December 1 st , and kept playing  until December 31 st .  I continued to watch my Die Hard and Die Hard 2 movies within the month of December.  I digress.  This year I finally figured why you loved Christmas so much. And no, not because you were born and raised Catholic, either. I remembered every year you would have me crawl into the attic to drag down the tree, and decorations on the weekend of Thanksgiving – many of which you made y...

Hey Mom, It’s Los again. Been a minute since I’ve wrote you, and that’s using the term liberally. The world hasn’t gone to hell-in-a-hand basket, yet, so I’m still digging. The last letter I wrote was born out of frustration, hurt, and anger. I thought I would mix it up 10 months down the line with positive energy. Met a woman, Mom. Her name is Cher. She is also a mother of two daughters. She’s half-Filipino with her mother being the full-blooded Filipino. We had a similar upbringing so reminiscing about you has energized memories of you. It’s a compliment, trust me. I’m absolutely convinced you would love her as much as I do. Sadly, I realize that without your passing it wouldn’t have been the catalyst which led me to Cher.  Such is life.  Speaking of life, we’ve been together for a scant 5 months but it seems like we’ve known each other our entire lives. Until I looked at the calendar, I didn’t realize that it’s actually less time on the boards than I thought....