Ever since I was a young man, I have had a blessing and a curse of a sixth sense. Sometimes I refer to it as a disturbance in the Force (ala Star Wars), my Spidey Sense going off (ala Spider-Man), or the Universe talking to me.
In the end, it's still referencing a metaphysical connection that I have created with my friends, family, and loved ones that creates a physical reaction within me.
I realize that'll read like I'm crazier than a shithouse rat. Then again, the by-line for this blog states "Memoirs of a Madman", so you've already been warned - AND IF you haven't already figured that out well you're in trouble!
I digress...
The feeling is always the same: a blackhole in my lower intestines. It's acute, too. I am literally just living my life, then BAM! Two snakes are coiled and constricting my intestines so intently that causes my appetite to lessen to starvation and almost has me doubled-over.
That's the blessing part. I can already hear y'all asking, that's the blessing? Yes, really. The curse is next. I never know if it's 1) a warning of something that has happened 2) or will happen 3) whether it'll happen to me 4) or happen to a loved one 5) and more importantly when it'll happen.
In the beginning, as a boy, I gaffed it off as being hungry, or cramping up from something I ate. Then I started to associate bad events and experiences to this feeling of imminent danger.
Oh... forgot to mention one minor detail: it has yet to be a signal of good tidings.
Once I entered my teenage years, I kept thinking on it, and decided the event(s) or experience(s), resonates on such a spiritual / astral plan kinda level that the ripple effect hits me approximately within a day or two but has been known to take up to a week! Or if it was a mistake in the past, the results were about to be realized.
Or yet another observation is that if the danger is stopped or has passed without happening, the feeling will dissipate almost immediately.
In my 20's I felt like I was the little boy who cried wolf, or the town crier! Once I get the feeling, instead of sitting on it before taking action, I started contacting all my close family and friends asking them to be extra careful in their activities of that day.
That way if it happened to me, then all the responsibility fell on my shoulders. And if it happened to them, at least they had a head's up.
But here's my issue with that. What if the notification caused them or myself to change their / my behavior and actions, such that it irrevocably changed the danger? So I stopped doing that, and would quietly ride it out, per se.
Now that I've grown older, that feeling is becoming less frequent, and much time occurs between each incident. So now I have a barrage of questions about this 'feeling'.
Too much thinking for a Sunday night. I'll turn in for the night!
'los; out
In the end, it's still referencing a metaphysical connection that I have created with my friends, family, and loved ones that creates a physical reaction within me.
I realize that'll read like I'm crazier than a shithouse rat. Then again, the by-line for this blog states "Memoirs of a Madman", so you've already been warned - AND IF you haven't already figured that out well you're in trouble!
I digress...
The feeling is always the same: a blackhole in my lower intestines. It's acute, too. I am literally just living my life, then BAM! Two snakes are coiled and constricting my intestines so intently that causes my appetite to lessen to starvation and almost has me doubled-over.
In the beginning, as a boy, I gaffed it off as being hungry, or cramping up from something I ate. Then I started to associate bad events and experiences to this feeling of imminent danger.
Oh... forgot to mention one minor detail: it has yet to be a signal of good tidings.
Once I entered my teenage years, I kept thinking on it, and decided the event(s) or experience(s), resonates on such a spiritual / astral plan kinda level that the ripple effect hits me approximately within a day or two but has been known to take up to a week! Or if it was a mistake in the past, the results were about to be realized.
Or yet another observation is that if the danger is stopped or has passed without happening, the feeling will dissipate almost immediately.
In my 20's I felt like I was the little boy who cried wolf, or the town crier! Once I get the feeling, instead of sitting on it before taking action, I started contacting all my close family and friends asking them to be extra careful in their activities of that day.
That way if it happened to me, then all the responsibility fell on my shoulders. And if it happened to them, at least they had a head's up.
But here's my issue with that. What if the notification caused them or myself to change their / my behavior and actions, such that it irrevocably changed the danger? So I stopped doing that, and would quietly ride it out, per se.
Now that I've grown older, that feeling is becoming less frequent, and much time occurs between each incident. So now I have a barrage of questions about this 'feeling'.
- Is it waning because I've lost that type of connection with people?
- Has dangerous events lessened?
- Are my friends and family shielding that from my connection with them?
- Have my experiences jaded me so much that my filters have literally blocked them?
Too much thinking for a Sunday night. I'll turn in for the night!
'los; out
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