Timing Is Everything

WCP posted on her Facebook Wall a link to a blogger named Heidi Priebe and her Thought Catalog. Charrina has a tendency to follow the same guidelines that I do … 1) revelance – to me, the situation, or time 2) thought provoking for myself and/or others 3) is it progressive – will it help anyone including myself.

After reviewing it, and overanalyzing it, I am writing about it now. I comment after a paragraph or two, so the notation is HP = Heidi Priebe, CB = Carlos Bayne (yours truly)

The Truth About Meeting Someone At The Wrong Time

By Heidi Priebe

HP: Timing is something that none of us can seem to get quite right with relationships. We meet the person of our dreams the month before they leave to go study abroad. We form an incredibly close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken. One relationship ends because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because they’re getting serious too soon.

CB:  Tragically, I relate to all of that!

HP: “It would be perfect,” We moan to our friends, “If only this were five years from now/eight years sooner/some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves.” Timing seems to be the invariable third party in all of our relationships. And yet we never stop to consider why we let timing play such a drastic role in our lives.

Timing is a bitch, yes. But it’s only a bitch if we let it be. Here’s a simple truth that I think we all need to face up to: the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people.

CB: I read that, re-read that, and thought, “Jeezus, why I didn’t arrive to this conclusion years ago!” Some many sleepless nights lost to what-if scearios, and countless times I asked myself what could I have done differently for a different outcome?

HP: You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backwards. The right people don’t make you hmm and haw about whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. You know that any adventure you had originally planned out for your future isn’t going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have by their side. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.

When you are with the right person, time falls away. You don’t worry about fitting them into your complicated schedule, because they become a part of that schedule. They become the backbone of it. Your happiness becomes your priority and so long as they are contributing to it, you can work around the rest.

CB: I could attest to this! I met the right person last summer. The timing seemed perfect, but after reading this blog entry, honestly, this was timeless encounter that just needed to happen. For years now, I was dating using every available resource (i.e. networking face-to-face, online dating)

Now I strive to be the best of the best in any adventure or challenge I dive into. Barring that, at least be the best version of myself that I can present. Because at the end of the day, I can at least hang my hat on the fact I left nothing on the table (if you haven’t notice I am a ginormous fan of cliché sayings)

I digress.

On my profiles, summaries, or any written description about me, for me, to me, I state that I am genuine, upfront and transparent in my transactions with people. I’m referring to family, friends, co-workers, and any new encounter. I do that because who would trust a shady-muthaf**ker from the minute go? And if you don’t have trust, then why continue? All conversations, and encounter are nullified and moot.

In my genuiune nature and personality, I have a unique vernacular. And that’s an understatement if any of the reading audience are my friends, family and loved ones! I use it for a multitude of reasons. A few primary ones is to be entertaining and fun to talk to, memorable, infuse a bit of ‘code’ so the casual eavesdropping individual may not pick up on it, and to ferret out a certain personality types that I like.

What’s my point? Where am I driving the party bus? I’ll tell ya. To Relationship Land.

During last summer I’d been using the smartphone application called Tinder. I loved it, honestly. If you heard me speak about it, you’d thought I had stock in it, helped create it or had a vested interest in the app.

If you know how the app operates then the following will make sense: On Cher’s photo, I swiped right. Well, lo and behold, she did the same to my photo(s). Awesome! We started speaking to each other through the inline app function. We learned enough about each that we wanted to meet up. Or at least I fired over that after when I returned from a friend’s wedding in Vegas, I would like to have a first date. My bros advised against stating that I’m in Vegas currently because she might just kill the deal right then and there.

Well, it’s a grip too late for that, boys. She asked what I was doing for the weekend, and I told her I’m headed to Vegas for a good friend’s wedding. See the above point about being honest.

Incredibly, Cher replied that she accepted my date! Sweet. I, then, asked when.

[To this day she doesn’t think much of her reply as being extraordinary] She replied, “We should meet up on the corner of close and soon – smiley face emoticon punctuated it.

I was staring at my screen for several minutes, in a chaise lounge chair, poolside at the MGM Grand, next to my bro. He asked me, “Well, ‘Los? What’d she say?”

I batted the question away, and simply stated, “I think I found my dream girl, yo.”

“Really? Why?”

“She text, we should meet on the corner of close and soon. Who texts or talks like that?”

 My bro knows me by now, and realizes I’m guiding the conversation, so he humors me with what I wanna hear, “Your dream girl, ‘Los. The girl you’ve been looking for is this one – if she is one,” he chuckles.

“Touche, bro.”

The rest, they say, is history.

HP: The right people don’t stand in the way of the things you once wanted and make you choose them over them. The right people encourage you: To try harder, dream bigger, do better. They bring out the most incredible parts of yourself and make you want to fight harder than ever before. The right people don’t impose limits on your time or your dreams or your abilities. They want to tackle those mountains with you, and they don’t care how much time it takes. With the right person, you have all of the time in the world.

CB: *insert face palm here* Why! Why, I cry, didn’t I know this sooner? Cher does this all the time, all day, every day. She asks how she can support me? The first she asked it disarmed me! Here I was thinking of how to defend my decision, or my justifications for it. Instead my answer was how to help me out.

HP: The truth is, when we pass someone up because the timing is wrong, what we are really saying is that we don’t care to spend our time on that person. There will never be a magical time when everything falls into place and fixes all our broken relationships. But there may someday be a person who makes the issue of timing irrelevant.

CB: Vice versa is the same, too. When we pass up or passed up by someone else, the same reason applies. They are not a priority but an excuse.

HP: Because when someone is right for us, we make the time to let them into our lives. And that kind of timing is always right.

CB: Amen, sister from another mister.

This has been shared, but not bitten off, C Note.

‘los; out

PS - here's the link to the entry I wrote about, click here.