C Note(s)

It's that time of year again... And invariably, some host / hostess will incorrectly title their intention of their party. In my humble opinion (IMHO) there's a GINORMOUS difference between White Elephant vs Gift Exchange Parties . I was tricked into thinking I was attending a workplace White Elephant Gift Party. Granted, the co-worker that invited me was a troll with #ERBF (Epic Rest B**ch Face) I was horrified to figure out it was a GIFT EXCHANGE PARTY. Basically, I fell into the trap that this troll knew how to host this kind of party when she didn't. Here's what happened... White Elephant vs Gift Exchange Parties: How I Was Tricked! Let's start this conversation with the difference between the two, in my mind! I'm confident there are some in the reading audience that have (and still do) confuse the ideas. The first time I ever heard of White Elephant was in 1995 at Payless Drug Store. A young lady approached me in the aisle I was replenishing with m...

Ever since the Digital Age started, many traditional institutions such mailed letters have been in a state of decline. In fact, it's extinct. Well, at least, Christmas Cards Are An Endangered Species with young adults that don't know how to properly address an envelope. There's an app out there available that you can mimic hand written notes, have them digitally created, then the company will complete fulfillment for a small fee. It's called Bond. That's right! Christmas Cards Are An Endangered Species Christmas Cards and the family newsletter included is (was?) a time-honored tradition to divulge details of trails and tribulations and successes, too.  But with the immediacy of social media of announcements, cry for help and everything else, there's few reasons to carry on the tradition of Christmas Cards. Right? Wrong . I want to lead a paradigm shift back to those days of pad and pen. Not as a backlash of technology, or trying to be a #hipster, but...

Y'all have it easy nowadays regarding Ugly Sweaters! I've seen them everywhere: Fred Meyer, Target, Wal-Mart, etc. There's all the peripheral items too. Back in my day of parties, if you didn't find a way, you MADE the way. Several years ago, I received a party invite from a friend I hadn't heard from in a minute. The invitation was for an Ugly Sweater Party during the holidays. If my memory serves, I couldn't attend even though I had every intention to do so. Later on, I saw pictures of the party on #Facebook. It sure seemed like it was a blast. Even more glaring ... I needed a new sweater! Ugly Sweater Party Up until this invite, I've never heard of purposely finding an ugly sweater to wear, let alone go to a party with others dressed as badly. So I was on a new adventure: to find the best ugly sweater ever! Six years ago ugly sweaters weren't in high demand therefore extremely difficult to locate. My girl at the time was a ginormous fan of...

UPDATE: 1-17-2019 I purchased my own domain of Carlos Bayne, so please follow my blog posts by click on this link here . I was haphazardily introduced to another blog site, Tumblr, because a friend on Facebook moved a thread to an account titled: I Heart Gary. I am able to blog each component of my life instead of having one blog and having to search through it. I realize it's an end of an era, but it must done. You can find my posts now at ... Tumblr, click here .

What Easter Means to Me nowadays is vastly different than when I was a child. I was oblivious to the religious connection to the holiday, as a kid. I thought it was about the Easter Bunny, and hiding eggs in the yard. Literally we would hide real hard boiled eggs in the front and back yard for my sister and I to find. What Easter Means to Me Honestly, it changes from year to year, and from relationship status at the moment. I once dated a mother of two that were young enough to still enjoy chocolate bunnies, and other candies, while searching for plastic eggs and the prizes within. One of the other candies was (still is) the Just Born-marshmallow Peeps. Ugh! I never liked them, but loved the Washington Post's The Peep Show which was a contest on how to create the best art and diorama of the confection. After 10 years though, they have canceled it. Read about it here , but it's true! I would read about the reprint in the Seattle Times when it was still a printed new...

Recently, SpaceX founder, #ElonMusk launched a Telsa Roadster into space with the driver named, Spaceman. The words, "Don't Panic" is displayed on the center console. This is an obvious ode to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy . Well, I ALSO paid homage to the "trilogy with 5 parts" weeks ago because my 42nd birthday was this year, so I dressed up as Arthur Dent and I was easily recognized by the knowledgeable fans. If you're familiar with the series, read it, or even watched the 2015 feature film of the same name, you'll know that after millions of years the Deep Thought super-computer concluded that the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything is ... 42! Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy The announcement revitalized my interest in space exploration, which I'm assuming is the same across the globe considering the amount of social media buzz it created. With the launch, the talk of a "space elevator" has been renewed which ...

What is March Madness: A Tradition? The NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Tournament (known informally as  March Madness  or the Big Dance ) is a single-elimination tournament played each spring in the United States, currently featuring 68 college basketball teams from the Division I level of the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA), to determine the national championship. The tournament was created in 1939 by the National Association of Basketball Coaches, and was the idea of Ohio State University coach Harold Olsen. Played mostly during March, it has become one of the most famous annual sporting events in the United States. March Madness: A Tradition Almost 10 years ago, my bro, Scott approached me in his casual way about basketball.  He asked me if I knew about the Big Dance, and I replied no. After a brief discussion, we decided that we would request time off from work fo...

In my continued 5 part series of Funniest Call Center Stories... In American society, invariably you've contacted a call center filled wall-to-wall with customer service representatives (CSRs) And for twenty years, I was a call center rat in some capacity. In some of those call centers, I rose through the ranks to be promoted to title of supervisor. Not only did we manage the workers, but we took escalated calls. The following is part 3 of 5 posts based on the humorous call center stories I have to share. Funniest Call Center Stories: Part III - Nudist Charter Cruise This story keeps us at the Costco Travel from Part II. I remember the agent it originated with, as well as, with the opening dialogue from the Costco Member. I can tell you with the same certainty I wasn't prepared for it, either! I was in queue waiting for an agent needing assistance. Connie Brown was the agent, to which I answered with, "Downtown Connie Brown! What can I do for you?" She expla...

Now that they are done, I have a question for y'all: What was Your Favorite Winter Olympic Game? The 15 discplines are divided into 3 categories: Ice sports; alpine, skiing, and snowboarding events; and Nordic events. Perhaps it was figuring skating? Or the ice hockey between countries? Or Shaun White and his styling for the snowboarding events? Or the Biathlon, which combines cross-country skiing and target shooting? Your Favorite Winter Olympic Game My favorite event was the closing ceremonies because that means it's over. My intention is not to throw shade on the international event but I am the only one in the United States that didn't watch a single event. Not even the closing, I just knew there was one. When I was in Gastown (Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada) over President's Day Weekend, I noticed every public TV in every restaurant, pub, and coffee joint was broadcasting the 2018 Winter Olympics with everyone else's eyes glued to the action on i...

In my continued 5 part series of Funniest Call Center Stories... In American society, invariably you've contacted a call center filled wall-to-wall with customer service representatives (CSRs) And for twenty years, I was a call center rat in some capacity. In some of those call centers, I rose through the ranks to be promoted to title of supervisor. Not only did we manage the workers, but we took escalated calls. The following is part 2 of 5 posts based on the funniest call center stories I have to share. Funniest Call Center Stories: Part II - Curaçao This story took place at Costco Travel, where I worked for 13 years. It was my first year, so I really wanted to make an impression. My trainer, Corrie, was promoted to supervisor that same year. She was my direct supervisor, in fact. Therefore she oversaw my development. One of my Funniest Call Center Stories is another one regarding pronunciation of words. A Costco Member called in wanting to a book Southern Caribbean cruise...

Happy Single Awareness, y'all!! Er, sorry, it's the epitome of a Hallmark Holiday: Valentine's Day. I'm acutely aware that it's a week after my birthday. For being a hapless romantic, you'd think I'd be all over this, but I'm over it the moment it's mentioned. I've pinpointed the experience that soured me from Cupid's arrow. Hallmark Holiday: Valentine's Day My 2nd grade teacher sent home a letter addressed to my parents with the guidelines on the do's and don't's of valentines delivery. What they didn't anticipate was the collateral damage done to my fragile feelings after delivery. And since we were a lower-middle class family, spending money on cardboard that was gonna be discarded almost immediately seemed like a waste. My Mom and I dragged along my little sister to the local Fred Meyer store (yes, the same one that has starred in a few posts of mine) We read over the instructions carefully. If you were gonna p...

Is Online Dating A Necessary Evil in 2018? Thankfully, I'm currently in a healthy relationship with a beautiful woman that's very loving and understanding. And, yes, I still have L.D.D. (Los Don't Date)! So if I wasn't with my girl, would I wade into the murky waters of the Seattle dating scene? While the question is simply, it's not simply answered by me. The last girl I met for a date was introduced to me by a friend who was attempting to help me out. The girl before her? Yep, same bro that helped me. She ended up ghosting me, consequently on the business end of my bro's wrath. The last relationship I had was one that I found on #Tinder. That was a truly I-would've-never-met-her-elsewhere, organic development of a relationship. It was years, yes years, of swiping left and right like an online catalog of eligible girls. At the time, Tinder was the boss of dating websites / applications, but mostly known for the "hook up app". eHarmony, Pl...

Being a dyed-in-wool, tried and true, American, I love a road trip any time to anywhere. Unfortunately, if I'm the passenger long enough I crash out almost immediately. Urban Dictionary calls it carcolepsy. Even when one post I found claimed the following -  Carcolepsy: The Science Behind Why People Instantly Pass Out In The Car I dunno about that, but I do know why I fall asleep. Carcolepsy: My Origin Story My mother told me this story about one evening that I was having difficulty sleeping as an infant. She tried all her usual tricks such as changing my diapers, breast feeding, and rocking and singing to me. I couldn't be consoled. Or soothed back to sleep. At first she was frustrated because she couldn't get me asleep. Eventually, she grew worried when nothing could get me asleep. So she loaded me up in the Green Duster for a trip the hospital. As soon as she started the vehicle it would be when I would get carcolepsy: my origin story. I fell asleep after one bl...

In American society, invariably you've contacted a call center filled wall-to-wall with customer service representatives (CSRs) And for twenty years, I was a call center rat in some capacity. In some of those call centers, I rose through the ranks to be promoted to title of supervisor. Not only did we manage the workers, but we took escalated calls. The following is part 1 of 5 posts based on the funniest call center stories, I have to share. Considering I've handled hundreds (if not thousands) escalated situations these five are bar-none the best of the bunch. Funniest Call Center Stories: Part I - Sequim I understand that not being born and raised in the Pacific Northwest, you are not naturally exposed to Native American names of cities, rivers, and more. I would think that if you're not an expert in the pronunciation of a term that you would defer to someone who is. Furthermore, if you're traveling to an unfamiliar area, you should take the advice of a travel ag...

Look, I get it. I do. You spend a majority of your time at work. Therefore you spend that same amount of time with your co-workers. And humans are social beings, so naturally you'll socialize with those co-workers. There are more reasons  why you should not date at work than to date. Just because you socialize with them doesn't equate to hooking up with them either. There are catch-phrases that oversimplify this dynamic, such as ... "Don't dip your pen in the company ink", and "Don't fish from the company pond" are just a couple. Why You Should Not Date At Work I'm not saying I haven't dated a co-worker. On the contrary, I have, and that's why I'm telling you shouldn't. And it wasn't just once, either. Oh, don't forget that it's not only my advice, there's usually a pesky "non-fraternization" clause in most companies policies. I'm also not saying that flirting and/or socializing is harmful, ...

Ah, yes. Another new year, so another set of New Year's Resolutions will be issued. I say, Don't Bother: New Year's Resolutions Fail. That's right. Only 8% of resolutions are upheld for the year. Or rather there's a 92% failure rate . I haven't made a resolution for the new year in 9 years ever since I created my holiday: Tabula Rasa Day with a declaration. Don't Bother: New Year's Resolutions Fail I'm saying this to further my cynical view of my fellow Americans. I've made them in the past, and each of them have failed as well. All of them. There are several reasons why they fail, but take a look at what the resolutions are to understand why. Lose Weight and Get Fit Quit Smoking Learn Something New Eat Healthier and Diet Get Out of Debt and Save Money Spend More Time with Family Travel to New Places Be Less Stressed Volunteer Drink Less Each one is too ambitious, too ambiguous, takes too long to see results, and require a par...

Happy New Year! We said goodbye to 2017, and welcomed 2018 with open arms and New Year's Resolutions. One of which invariably is hitting the gym. Y'all read my misadventures at a gym such as the Icy Hot Incident , Been Caught Kaepernicking , and etc. I haven't told the following story about my first use of creatine . If you're reading this while drinking, eating, or an area that would not be appropriate to be laughing out loud - I highly recommend you cease those activities and find some privacy. My First Use of Creatine Before my 30th birthday, I had meltdown. Many of my friends who were 30 + were in the best shape of their lives, and here I was, in the wrong shape of my life - and I knew it doesn't improve by itself. I talked about my fitness goals, and someone who knew me, pointed me to her brother. I called him, Big Kenny, the Personal Trainer. This man completely changed my working information about personal fitness, nutrition, supplements including my f...