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What If I Had A Time Machine?

On Facebook I posted an encounter with my ex-wife. See below

So! Ingrid Michaelson's song "Time Machine" is blasting out my speakers as I'm rolling slow through Redmond Town Center. Then I stop to let a pedestrian walk through a crosswalk only to realize it's my ex-wife that (thankfully) I haven't seen in years. The IRONY! It hurts! It's the one person I would dedicate this song too ‪#‎sorrynotsorryatall‬ ‪#‎artimitateslife‬ ‪#‎ironyatitsbest‬

The tone of the comments were my expectation of props for showing restraint, etc. I replied with, "You have no idea".

However, what I meant was entirety different. Usually when I bump into exes the encounter is ill-timed, and coated with awkwardness. Meaning sometimes 5,000 tiny daggers stab my heart at once, or the pit of stomach tightens, or my manic level hits the roof, my blood boils from revenge or my sadness envelopes me like a winter's blanket.

This time? Nothing happened. Zilch, zero, nada.

She was just another passenger on Spaceship Earth. I thought, "Huh. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but with enough it can allow me to forgive." You see, I already posted a blog entry about forgiving for good.

It's not for them either. It's for you. In order for you to move on, you forgive the offending party. Oh, yeah. I lost my shit, too, when I read that. To me, it was my sole responsibility to eff over them. In the end, I discovered I couldn't hurt them as much as they hurt me.

Worse, yet?

They might not ever have to 'pay for their wrongs'. WHAT, you explode?! Yeah, that's right. It's not my concern anymore. Which brings me to my next question.

What if I had a time machine?

Would I go back, like the song states, and tell myself to run? Nope. I encounter this question every once in awhile. I usually answer the same, I am what I am today because of what happened to me yesterday. Oh, and the days before it too.

So when I answered, "You have no idea".

You have no idea how liberated I felt, realizing truly nothing exists between her and I. Just another bag of flesh and bones, that I thought I knew long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

I didn't even have the thought to take my foot off the brake. I smirked at her because my journey is complete, and by her crossing my path, is the maraschino cherry on top of it all.

This has been my C Note.
'los; out


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