A Bayne-full Bad Day

So. Most my reading audience is my crew, my family, and my co-workers. They realize I don't engage in any activity only to do the minimum amount of work necessary, half-ass it, or to have sloppy results.

Bad days are no exception!

After a late night of doing laundry, I woke up this morning. What I didn't realize was I was waking up into a Bayne bad day … the Sapphire Sled [2004 arctic blue Acura RSX Type S] was so low on car juice, that she wouldn’t turn over for me.

I have no gas can, either.

Hauled ass to the nearest gas station; ARCO - AM/PM. To the dismay of the clerk that I’ve seen a billion times before, he looked at the 1 gallon gas can I placed on his counter. I requested a little less than a gallon of gas on a pump. He shook his head, immediately realizing how my morning was going. He quipped, "$3.00 of gas on pump 3. Good luck, buddy."

After damn-near being ran over in the Safeway parking lot, I walked back triumphantly with my tale-telling little plastic gas can with almost a gallon of gas. Back to the SS. In order to use this gas can you need to have a Masters Degree in mechanical engineering, be a mechanic and shit ton of patience.

All of which I was short on this morning.

So? What did I do?

I remembered that in the trunk was a 6 inch piece of PVC from a photo shoot (don't ask, that's even a LONGER story!), and the funnel I bought for the oil I had to dump in last week - again, don't ask. I thought, I could make this work.

Picture this. I'm holding the PVC piping and the funnel with my left-hand, all leading into the gas tank opening. Granted there's no seal, but I calculated I could get more into the car than on the ground. With my right hand I steadily pour in the gas.

I'm monitoring it carefully. I managed to empty the gas can into the Sapphire Sled. I hop in to crank her up. She fires! VICTORY.

Er, not yet, son.

I motor over to the same gas station. Then fill up the gas tank to the brim, y'all! Time on the clock? 7:38 am. I have 22 minutes to complete a consistently 30 plus minute commute. In order to be successful, I needed to 'manifest' this result.

Which I did!

We are allotted a 3-minute window in order to clock in "on time". Time on the clock, now? 8:03 am. Time to sit down to work. Yesterday I was told that I am out of my seat too much, so I was painfully aware of that.

I would have to combine a coffee run with a bathroom stop. I reviewed my cheddar situation before bombing down to our brand new, shiny, CASH ONLY deli. I realize that I'm a nillionaire because I gave my last few to my little sister (she needed it more, trust me) Call her up to find out she has enough left over to buy my breakfast.

SWEET JEEZUS I'm SAVED! Right? Not quite yet...

I stopped by the reception desk to speak to my friend, Chandra, that my Maintenance light on the SS is still on and advise her a vendor was arriving today. The HR officer barked at me for having food near the area, and lingering too long.

There's the coup de grace.

I'll be lucky to end the day, if I don't 1) end up being fired 2) laid up in a hospital 3) get arrested 4) or get into street fight.

Back to diggin'!

'los; out

#wasteofhairproduct #gobacktobed #manifestingworks #keepdigging

Let's Dance

The other week, I was driving to my 2 nd job at Malarky’s Sports Grill. Wednesday to be exact. I noticed a man standing at a bus sign waiting for a bus. I recognized the man right away. It was Kenny, The Dancing Wild Man of Factoria. It’d been a minute since I’ve seen him on the streets of Issaquah, I was growing concerned that something awful happened to him. I was thankful to find him once again, and within the same area I “met” him the first time… hilarious story. I remember distinctively. It was my first summer I spent in Issaquah. The sun was out, so relatively warm. I was bombing around in the Sapphire Sled [an arctic blue, 2004 Acura RSX Type S] with the windows down, the tunes up. I was stopped at the traffic light on the corner of Front Street and NW Gilman Blvd; the busiest intersection. From out-the-cuts, I heard someone screaming! I pull off my shades immediately. I whip my head around trying to seek out the source of the noise. I turn down the radio as I desper...

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