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Showing posts from April, 2014

The Sapphire Sled

The Washington State Department of Licensing reminded me via email that my vehicle license tabs are due in … 3 months from now. Fascist asshats! You’ll get my cheddar when I’m … OH! I digress. Can you believe that my arctic blue 2004 Acura RSX Type S has been in service for 10 years? Following my naming convention for inanimate objects in my possession, I dubbed the car the Sapphire Sled after several name considerations. In addition, I wanted to personalize the license with a vanity plate. I only remember the last two candidates:   SOMONEY LOS I landed on LOS for a multi-layered joke to the world. You see, I thoroughly enjoy entertaining the world while simultaneously raising the highway salute to those that don’t “get it”. LOS is my nickname from my family and close friends. Short for Carlos. What you might’ve missed is the word “LOS” is Spanish for “the”. Therefore LOS on a car is hilarious to me. Or … CAR, another name for automobile, motor vehicle,...

Why Not Me? Why Me? v1.1

After being a guest to two weddings, and witnessed many a random hook up at NORWESCON [just think geeks gone wild weekend], the first question that popped into my head was, why not me? I realized at both places I was a stranger in a strange land. Gone are the days of Wedding Crashers , when bride maids a-plenty were intoxicated therefore primed for some casual sex. Or I'm just being invited to the wrong weddings... always a possibility. Nowadays, the bridesmaids are already in committed relationships, or not eligible for dating. More often than not, it's the latter not the former. Then there's NORWESCON, the premiere science-fiction, and fantasy convention of the Pacific Northwest. Being a chameleon has it's benefits, and it's drawbacks. Drawbacks, you ask? Yep. While I do carry my geek card, and carry it proudly, I also don't dress the part (looks like a duck), speak like a geek (quacks like a duck) and carry on in those circles religiously (walks like a...

Bathroom Bayne, Whimsical Wednesday

Aiight - once again I've been inspired to write. I just now processed fully what happened over the weekend in time for my blog entry Bathroom Bayne, Whimsical Wednesday. Tacoma, WA - Historic 1625 , a wedding. With open bar, basically declaring open season on the kegs of brewage. You know I'm gonna rock that ISH!! Of course, consumption of brew will lead to the following ... 1) fun 2) great jokes 3) hilarity ensuing 4) bad life decisions 5) coyote-ugly hook-ups and the list can go ad nauseam! One of those, not listed, is the sudden urge to use the restroom. Simple enough in civilized society, right? Wrong! Below is a photo of the restrooms: I discovered quickly that down that hallway was a family bathroom, and a women's bathroom. No men's! The family restroom is occupied. The women's has the door opened, light's on, and not occupied. Upon asking out loud where the men's? A catering staff member answered by bellowing, "It's located downstai...

Yard Maintenance - Do You?

With the sun making more of a regular appearance and the yard work needs tending to, it's inspired several FB posts from the peeps about how they enjoy gardening. Club Los, my crib, is an apartment, so I don't have a yard but I do have a related question... POLL OF THE PEEPS : Ladies, how do you maintain your "yard"? All gone, airstrip, or jungle fever? And for the playas, do you prefer all gone, airstrip, or jungle fever? If you have no idea what I'm asking then I can't spell it out and must revert to the innuendo ... GO! [Oh, and yes, I realize that zero people will be bold, or brave enough to answer in the comments section but that's why it's the poll of the peeps!]

Love Game

Of all the games I play and participate in, love is one of those that I have yet to capture that elusive championship win. I was reminded of that while watching and photographing a wedding over the weekend. ... and it also gave me hope. I might be able to win later in my life, with a woman that truly can understand, appreciate me, and love me. I sincerely doubt it, though. The pastor preached about seven lessons that each of them need to adhere to in order to ensure the marriage to last. The last of course was love. His words resonated with me. One sentence in particular is the limitless songs that speak to love. The current one that played on Mark IV [named iPod] was Toby Keith, "Tryin' To Fall In Love". "Tryin' To Fall In Love" If women come a dime a dozen, I ain’t got a penny Some guys are gettin’ way too much, some guys don’t get any But if I had a nickel for every time I’d had enough I’d still be busted and heartbroken still be tryin’...

Just Peachy

I'm no fashionista, fashion designer, or have any level of authority concerning fashion, but I do have eyes and I am a professional photographer so I can see what's pleasing to look at and what isn't. I do declare that peach is the spring color of choice 2014 if I'm using the observations of the female office outfits the past week or so. Oy vey... as with any color, some women / girls [there's a difference between these two] look fantastic, it brings out a feature / characteristic about them that I didn't notice, per se, but certainly do now. ... and then there's others, I wanna hand over a Joan River's Fashion Police Ticket to with the words, "Oh, honey, please tell you didn't look at the mirror before diving out the door thinking, damn I look fine!" Just a quick C Note - I'm out!

Accidental ABBA

As I was rocking the Gym Class Heroes action this morning, Dancing Queen queued up on Mark IV [my name iPod]. Reminded me of my first "karaoke" song I ever sang... totally by accident might I add. The memory flooded into my mind so quickly, because it's karaoke night at Malarky's. SPOILER ALERT : No microwave version available. So either read and laugh at me, or continue scroll through your Facebook Newsfeed and ignore this post. Here we go, the Way-Way-Wayback Wednesday Machine to... the summer of '95. Lynnwood, WA - Thrifty Payless Inc. I was the youngest supervisor on staff at the ripe old age of 19. Many of the old-crow cashiers were upset by this promotion by management. Thought I would react by being all award show [letting the title go to my head] One of my first responsibilities was to count inventory in our warehouse in the back of the store. It's a very stressful time of year. In order to mitigate that stress I would laugh, and joke, and sin...