Open Letter To Mom

Open Letter To Mom - Dating

Mom.

Yo, we gotta talk. Or rather I write and you read / listen / whatever angels do. I want to discuss one of current missions: Get Los A Girl.

First, accolades / props / high fives to the effort and the girls and women you've introduced to my life. Definitely an upgrade to the whorebags that feigned interest in me while cheating on me or the douche baguettes that crammed me in the FriendZone to languish and die. I invited them to skip hand-in-hand off the fucking planet but they didn't RSVP. Pity.

AHEM! I digress.

Again thank you for the girls and women that are enthralled with me, love me, think I'm amazing. Kudos to you! I'm grateful - I am!

However I don't think I was specific enough. In fact if you ask my friend / mentor / boss Mari she'll tell me I'm not manifesting this correctly (more about that later)

Momma - I need those same types of girls (under 30) and women (30 +) who are 1) not lying whorebags 2) interested in me 3) not crazier than a shithouse rat 4) gainfully employed 5) no physical disabilities 6) and... Most of all, someone I can love / be amazed by / be excited about

You must've miss this part. It's aiight, so far, so good. I'll keep digging but if you could send someone like I'd appreciate it.

Love always,
Your son

PS - Please touch base with Karma, the force NOT the stripper in Vegas, about speeding up the whole "have the husbands cheat on the whorebags that cheated on me" situation ... That'd be fantastic. Kthxbye!

Comments

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