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Musical Musing

What's in a song? Music, lyrics, thoughts from the artist. As many of you know, I love music! I love listening, singing, and creating music. It's as simple as that. Every once in awhile as Mark IV [my named iPod] will blast out a tune that'll make my toes tap, there are some tracks that well, pardon the pun, but stop me in my tracks. 

"One Headlight" by The Wallflowers

So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees

I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face

So I wondered how she hung around this place

I heard this song on the radio on October 7th, 1997, late at night. I just left a hospital room at Northwest Hospital. The doctors explained to us that Mom has had a tumor on her esophagus a has esophageal cancer. She was given maybe 2 years to live with treatment.

You see, she underwent surgery to repair what was thought to be an ulcer. They discovered a thousand plus tumors indicating a larger tumor had metastasized over the past couple years. 

Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than 
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home

With one headlight

As you can imagine, that's a ton to intake as a young man of 21 years old! The expectation was my mom lying in recovery, but the reality was she was given her death sentence. 

I needed a drink! 

I turned on the POS I had for a car: 1993 Plymouth Sundance. It had only one operating headlight. At least the radio worked!

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left

She hit the end-it's just her window ledge

I had only one place to return to. My rental house with my best friend, and my girlfriend staying there. They hate each other, and I hate the situation altogether. The house, folks. I drive home to find them bickering as usual. I'm over being a referee, I walked into the house, grabbed a beer and sat on my porch.

Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams

I think her death it must be killin' me

Yeah, it's killing me, too. Nothing I can do, nothing I can help with. Only thing to do is think about what to do when she's gone, because she'll be gone too soon.

This has been your C Note.

'los; out




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